“I’ve put calls in to a variety of distant relatives, but they’ve heard all about the terrible things that tend to happen wherever you go. Understandably, they’re too skittish about Count Olaf to agree to take care of you…That was a nineteenth cousin of yours {Mr. Fagin on the phone} and a last hope of mine. I thought I could persuade him to take you in…but he refused. I’m concerned…[about] your reputation as troublemakers…”
— Mr. Poe, attempting to find the Baudelaire children a “convenient” guardian after their stay at 667 Dark Avenue
